Shit fingers
A while ago, my housemate put me on to a rather amusing jape, best done in a manky pub's toilets after having a big shit...

Step 1 - pull out and tear off as much bog paper as you think you need to draw an ace. Clearly there is a direct correlation between the necessary amount, and just how messy your arse is, i.e. just how hot last night's ringstinger curry was and how many pints accompanied said curry.

Step 2 - pull out just a little more bogroll from the drum, do not detach from the roll, and use it to make the first wipe, smearing as much of your mess as possible onto the pristine sheets. Get it as close to the free end as possible.

Step 3 - leave the soiled end dangling to dry a little, while you finish cleaning up with the paper procured in step 1.

Step 4 - carefully respool the soiled paper into the drum.

Et voila, an exquisitely set booby trap, left for the next punter to discover...
(airbiscuit last dropped a meaty one in the lift on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 8:49, 3 replies)

That is a proper cunty trick.
Cunt.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:23, closed)

hey neptune
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:22, closed)

*click*
For 'draw an ace'. I've been trying to drop that one into conversation for a while now, but always end up having to explain (unless I'm talking to a serious Viz fan).
(blotchydave, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 21:57, closed)