Happy Valentine's Day
Three years ago my perma-single friend Tom was temporarily living in a flatshare with 3 Chinese students in Shepherd's Bush, none of whom spoke a word of English.

That year was a double-whammy as V Day fell on a Saturday. As everyone else in our group was busy doing couples stuff Tom resigned himself to a Saturday night at home on his own, watching Danger Mouse on his laptop.

Feeling a bit down, he popped out at about half 8 to get a Tesco ready-meal for one. On his way back from the shops Tom had his headphones on, presumably listening to Interpol or some other depressing indie nonsense. Then, as if from nowhere, this kid ran up and punched him right in the face.

It was a total sucker punch and Tom hit the deck. Through the pain he was able to make out a couple of figures standing over him - one of whom was quite clearly filming the whole thing on his phone. Tom had indeed been the recipient of a classic happy slap.

But then came the immortal line, "Oi Dan, that's not the right bloke!" At this, the hoodies all made a swift exit. Tom picked himself up, regathered his spaghetti carbonara, checked his teeth, and made his own painful way home.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 8:59, 1 reply)

keep going
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:22, closed)