Kneecap hilarity
Back in the day my small posse of 16 & 17 year-old mates would often be found huddled around a small fire in a local country park, swigging Super T and talking about our imaginary sexual conquests. We were a tight-knit group, harmless and happy (think a South London version of Stand By Me).

Getting pissed in the park was generally the cheapest entertainment our leafy suburb could offer but was particularly frowned upon by the park rangers who patrolled the grounds in their battered Land Rover.

One barmy evening when the empty Super T cans were starting to pile up, and the banter reaching lofty levels of depravity, we spied a set of headlights charging our way through the gloom.

More than a little worse for wear, we hastily stamped out the fire and ran full speed towards the park exit where we hoped to make our escape into the nearby housing estate.

The problem when you're 17, drunk and being pursued is that it seems like the most hilarious situation imaginable, so our retreat was somewhat handicapped by us laughing like twats and stumbling our way through the dark.

The comedic value was elevated to epic proportions when one of our mates (let's called him Simon, for that was his name), ran full-speed into the knee-high barrier at the park entrance. He went down hard, we laughed harder.

After a few seconds it transpired that Simon was actually in some distress having practically kneecapped himself. With the rangers in hot pursuit, we did what any loyal friends would do....we left him there!

I can only assume it was the alcohol's influence because to this day I can't understand why we acted so callously to one of our own. I think this qualifies.
(BinDipper, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 10:31, 1 reply)

coffee time
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:21, closed)