How I pulled due to massive fruit-induced arse explosion
<pearoast>

This happened to me while I was attempting to charm my way into a young lady's knickers. In the middle of my suave, sophisticated conversation, I suddenly felt the unmistakable spasm of an imminent total-evacuation bottom event of truly porcelain-shattering proportions. So, in the middle of a sentence, I suddenly leapt up and headed for the door, calling over my shoulder that sorry, I had to leave.

Luckily it was only about five minutes to my house - though they were five of the longest, arse-clenchingly painful minutes I can remember, and were followed by several hours I'd rather forget.

The next day the young lady in question turned up at my door, curious to see why I'd bolted so suddenly. By which time I had recovered, thankfully; I may have been left somewhat pale and interesting, and even a little slimmer, after my ordeal of the previous day. And the rest, as they say, is biology.

tl;dr: I shat myself into bed with a laydee, but in a good way

</pearoast>
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 12:10, Reply)