the sting
when i was a child, the only person in the family who could drive was my grandad, so he was the one who would take us on trips out during summer holidays.
one day, we were on our way back from blackpool. we'd stopped off for something to eat and were now back in the car, once more heading home.
sitting in the back seat, doodling away in my colouring book, i heard a noise. it was a kind of humming noise or, more accurately, a buzzing noise. an ANGRY buzzing noise. it seems we'd managed to trap a wasp in the car with us when we'd stopped and it had decided to sit next to me. unfortunately, wasps don't like car journeys and our stripy hitchhiker rapidly became very pissed off.
he was even more pissed off when i shifted in my seat and sat on him. he retaliated in the only way a wasp can.
so, if you were driving along the motorway between blackpool and liverpool during the early '80's and saw a small blonde girl hopping about on the grass verge, clutching her arse and crying, that was me.

length? only about an inch, but it hurt like fuck.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 17:49, 5 replies)

did any one offer to kiss it better or suck the poison out ?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 18:00, closed)

no, but they laughed a lot

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 18:03, closed)

Aaaaaaah, I know that pain!
Summer of '76, blinded by the eternal sunshine, coming into the cool of the house to watch "Why Don't You?" I sat on a dead (yes, the cunt was dead already!) wasp.
Hurt like a mother-fluffer and no mistake!!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 16 Jul 2011, 23:34, closed)

Also 1976
My mate came up the hill to my house, and panting when he reached the top, a wasp stung him on the tongue.

Ouch, is what he said*

*possibly using other words
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 16:03, closed)

i've only ever been stung twice
once was the tale above, the second time was caused by me sticking my nose into some flowers for a good sniff. the flowers were already occupied and i ended up with a nose like a terminal alcoholic.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 16:59, closed)