Is your mum related to my mum?
When I was about five I put some washing-up liquid in the milk (I thought that was what adults did when they were cooking). My mum drank some in her tea, and immediately accused my sister of trying to poison her.

There are other examples. Not as exciting as yours, but phone tapping was one of them, and she never kept a job for long on account of her colleagues always 'conspiring' against her. And the neighbours were all out to get her, of course. Sigh.

Oh, and then there was the time she broke her ankle. She'd fallen on a bit of path at the back of the house, the side where my bedroom window was. Because it happened early in the morning, the curtains were shut, I was fast asleep and knew nothing about it. I heard absolutely no sounds through that window. I only discovered that she'd fallen when someone else found her, but she accused me of lying in bed and laughing while she screamed in agony.

And then there was the time she stopped answering the phone. It was just after she'd separated from my dad, so we were all a bit worried about her mental state. My sister feared the worst, and so started calling around to see if anyone had recently seen mum. Sister called my dad, and dad said "Oh yes, she's just here."

Cue a furious barrage of language from my mum: "You've been stalking me! I can't believe you've invaded my privacy like this! Why are you calling me?!"

And another time when I suggested that she ought not to remain in her marital home post-divorce because of the memories, and she immediately accused me of conspiring with my father to get her out. Ugh.
( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 18:52, Reply)