The Local Working Men's Club
where I grew up and which my Dad has frequented for 30+ years had a few characters who probably would have been rogues if they had the brains.

One of them's worst-planned escapade was that he ran off with the takings from the pub he managed in town. Specifically, he ran off to his own house to 'lay low'. Since that was the address he'd given his employer for payslips (and since it's a bit of a one cow town anyway), a minimal amount of detective work from the local plod was required to track him down.

One of the others, a builder by trade, got banned from the working men's club because he turned up in a JCB one weekend and demolished the gate to the car park. Apparently it wasn't wide enough and he couldn't get his van out to drive home when he was pissed. He ended up being let back in after he agreed to rebuild it.

Finally, there was the bloke who was the club treasurer for a period of 12 years. Since being forced to resign the role when the club nearly went bust, he's currently barred and there's a police investigation into the the thousands and thousands of pounds missing from the accounts. The friendly accountant who used to audit them (who also drinks there), is also banned.

It's still a nice place for a cheap pint, though.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 14:09, 3 replies)

You'd think people had more brains, wouldn't you?
When I was a lad, the manager of the local branch of Gateway (now Morrisons?) used to take the days takings to the bank in a bag every day.

One day he got robbed at gunpoint.

The robbers, it turned out, were the father and brother of one of my classmates. Their house was on the way from the shop to the bank, and after they robbed him, the just went home.

Took CID all of 2 hours to arrest them. Got 5 years each.
(username failed moderation, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 14:19, closed)

Criminals are often daft
Smart people realise you can rip people off without breaking the law, and become bankers, lawyers, or set up Wonga.com.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 14:23, closed)

Agh.
I'd like to set fire to Earl. I really would.
(username failed moderation, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 14:30, closed)

Nicholas Parsons is dead to me

( Zoroastermouse thinks therefore he am, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 19:11, closed)

Hahaha!
"couldn't get his van out to drive home when he was pissed"

That's proper old school
( Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 15:16, closed)