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This is a question Rogues, Villains and Eccentrics

My current toilet book is Brewer's classic encyclopedia of the same name, listing some of the great British nutters down the ages. Let's create a B3TA version based on the dodgy people you've met

(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:43)
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Assaulted by a Radio DJ
It's been a long time to hide this tragic secret, but I finally have to open up.

During my childhood I had the misfortune to be unpleasantly molested by a man who used his public standing to take advantage of me.

After a suggestion of a 'tungsten-tipped screw', I was forced into the back seat of his Lexus. He asked me if I might be amused by playing 'tennis' with his 'monkey' and promised me an exposure to his Bang and Hole of Sun, whatever that was. Worse was to come, as he strapped on a couple of cones and performed an obscene lap dance before my helpless, innocent eyes. The things he did with a Toblerone make me shudder even now, and he outrageously suggested that "I'd shove one in your ear, one up your nose and one up your bum, but I'd have to break into another one which I'm not prepared to do for you." Later on, he harrassed me with phone calls about "having cheese" and threatened me to watch him Skirmish on live TV.

Even today, I can't hear the words "Aaaah-haaaaa!" without picturing that hideous gurning face over my right shoulder...
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 20:38, Reply)

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