A Guide To Chinnor
MonkeyTheChicken's post was part of a 'home town guide' thing we did at work. Here is my (lamer) effort:

Chinnor is a large village lying at the foot of the Chiltern Hills escarpment in South Oxfordshire. Mentioned in the Domesday Book as ‘...a fetid sore on the rumpe of Southe Oxfordshire’, there is history of habitation since 1000 A.D. For most, the village’s singular claim to fame is being the point where the fated ocean-going liner Titanic met its fate, striking an iceberg near The Kings Head public house on upper Station Road before sinking, taking with it 1,517 souls in 1912. It was also the birthplace of U2 bassist Adam Clayton, whose house has become a shrine said to rival that of Elvis Presley’s Graceland.


The 320 races at breakneck speed past The Red Lion, the driver having selected the 'Not In Service' sign to prevent bellicose inhabitants boarding his public transport omnibus

Chinnor has a passing connection to the English Civil War in that Oliver Cromwell is said to have visited The Royal Oak public house, situated on Lower Road. Although records do not exist to support this claim, it is believed he enjoyed two pints of Greene King IPA and played a game of pool, and put Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello on the jukebox.

Disappointed by the lack of demand for Asian cuisine, the once-popular Chinese restaurant, The Mayflower II, closed last year, to be replaced by a Thai restaurant. Meanwhile, the Indian restaurant, aptly named The Chinnor, continues to go from strength to strength, run as it is by erstwhile Bangladeshis. Indeed, its name oftern flummoxes directory enquiry services when one calls to ask for 'The Chinnor, in Chinnor'. Other minority cuisines are catered for with Kingston Fisheries, a fish and chip shop (which provides kebabs to the hungry Friday-after-work demographic as well as piscine and tuber-based dishes) and Godwin Bakeries which proffers ready-to-eat sandwiches as well as hot and cold pastries and a wide selection of delectibles, with world cuisines catered for in the form of their Indian Chicken and Italian Chicken sandwich fillings, as well as samosas. The local butchers, Plested, located in the High Street, next to the Church grounds serves a wide variety of local produce, with quality cuts of lamb, beef and badger meat being snapped up by greedy shoppers on busy Saturday mornings.

Sporting pastimes are abundant, with both Saturday and Sunday football catered for at Chinnor’s three different recreation grounds. The genteel English pastime of cricket is poorly-catered for in the Summer months at the main playing fields with the notorious slope of the “Tennis Court End” bamboozling many an opposition batsmen alongside the majority of the home side. Chinnor also proudly boasts a village-standard tarmac and net-fenced tennis courts and a shooting club (ie. guns) for big, posh sods who are prevented from pointing their weapons at helpless, small, furry or winged creatures during the hours of darkness.


Sporting fellows in Chinnor, yesterday

Chinnor has numerous public houses, the closures of The Chairmakers Arms (1930s), The Nelson (1950s) and The Bird in Hand (2000) notwithstanding. The Sports and Social Club, which sates the thirst of tired and weary Saturday and Sunday footballers after their gladiatorial contests, offers reasonably-priced alcoholic beverages served in a dilapidated and hostile 1960s setting, The Wheatsheaf at the Oakley or ‘arse’ end of the village offers South African cuisine and a warm welcome, and The Red Lion offers the olde worlde charms of traditional horse brasses, low-beamed ceilings, an open log fire (even during the summer months) and an array of award-winning, warm and flat real ales, including brews from the local Shawshank’s brewery such as Mild (3.8%) and Redemption (4.6%).

These of course pale into insignificance, when the annual Chinnor Beer Festival rolls into town on Bank Holiday August weekend. A staple in the Chinnor diary since 2009, the festival has grown in popularity, and is frequented by both young and old, with a profusion of tankards affixed to belt straps on display throughout the day. This year’s Beer of the Day winner was Frogman’s Rusty Bullethole (4.8%) – a kinky little drop, characterised by a redolent nose, hoppy notes and aftertastes of lead, mercury and battery acid.

As we say in Chinnor – born in-bred.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)