palmerston north
About 2 years ago i had the missfortune to go there for a few days to attend my brothers graduation ceremony.
As the poor bastard had been there for 3 long years i was somewhat forewarned but nothing could truly prepare me.

After arriving at Palmerston North International airport we had a quick look at the duty free shop. Its a cupboard with a till and a security grill.

The City of Palmerston North or palmy or shit hole as its more commonly known as primarly serves the surrounding rural areas massey university and the nearby army base.Consequently frictions between farmers students and squaddies sometimes boil over.

The whole city center stinks of stale piss as a result of nights out by the afore mentioned.
The locals are a little strange , to me it seemed as if they held the special olympics in palmy about 30 years ago and only half of them went back home . The rest seem to have settled down and interbred spawning a whole new generation of mouthbreathers. This is a place where they point and stare at passing aircraft.

A few years ago the local paper had to print an appeal to who ever stole some used mattresses out of the hospital skip not to use them. I mean of all the things you could steal why on earth these and if the hospital is chucking them out theres a dammed good reason. This fairley well sums up the criminal element in town.

To coincide with my visit the Samoan circus was in town. End result i was acosted by a slightley schitsophrenic , angry , possibly drunken midget clown trying to flog tickets. The locals regarded this as a cultural highlight. This is a place where a night out means going to the rugby wearing a green bucket on your head.

A few years ago john Cleese of monthy python fame visited and described it thus " If you have even contemplated scuicide but lacked the courage , a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick"

Once the torches and pitchforks had been put down the council decided to name the hillock at the newly closed landfill site Mt Cleese in honour of this event.

To add insult to injury if flying out of palmy a $5 local departure tax is levied , although many regard it as money well spent if it means getting out of the dump.
The standard reply to tourists driving through and daring to ask the question "So whats the best thing to do here?" is just keep driving.

I have only scratched the surface of how god awfull the place is , it really is satans septic sphincter.
(welgar, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 22:29, 6 replies)

ooh ooh
been there. Well for 5 minutes. On that one train that you have. Isnt there a volcano nearby? I remember something like that. Anyway, I went from Auckland to Wellington by sightseeing train. Lovely, but my god it was 10 hours. Flew back. Wellington's nice though, I'd live there for a bit.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 22:44, closed)

Greymouth
I once spent a Saturday night in Greymouth, on the South Island. Unless you know someone there, it's a pretty slow place too.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 23:02, closed)

its a metropolis
compared to hokitika just down the coast
(welgar, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 23:06, closed)

Palmy
I would rather live in Palmerston North than Auckland...anyday. Then again, I live in Dannevirke so my judgement may be questionable.
(Mandrill, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 3:03, closed)

Oh Palmerston North, New Zealand!
Here in the bigger island slightly to the north, we have a suburb of Darwin (festy, feral, Mad Max-esque, flag down and shoot the British tourist and carry off his woman kinda place) called Palmerston North.

It's a barracks town, and slightly less safe than downtown Soweto on a Saturday night.

Ironically, there's a suburb in Canberra (the little known Australian capital) called Palmerston North, which is also a barracks town, but is actually rather nice.
(Que?, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 4:06, closed)

Spent a year there.
At uni.

Once got tackled to the ground by a fourty+ year old obese chap.
He then ran away. I'd have done something about it, but he had six friends who all thought t'was hilarious.

Next group of old men we walked past were loudly discussing if they could afford a prostitute each or if they would have to share.
(Scritty Bakerman., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:16, closed)