Brum...
I once got mugged (sort of) in Birmingham when I was but a SubCulture Hero In Training (henceforth abbreviated to SHiT). I was bumbling around the city centre looking for a handy pizza hut from which to obtain an affordable alternative to the overpriced, under-edible hotel food for me and my mate.

While I was trolling around looking for it and having a quiet smoke I was approached by what was possibly a retarded monkey in a tracksuit demanding the loan of a smoke. Being a kind soul I obliged the miscreant, and obliged him again when he insisted I gave him another. When he requested, somewhat gruffly and after parting me from my precious tobacco products, that I then hand over my even more precious beer money I refused, naturally. It was at this juncture he demonstrated he had a knife and that my refusal had not stood me in good stead.

Being a shrewd, but cowardly SHiT I decided my only option was to negotiate with my assailant, promising him that if he led me to the nearest Pizza Hut I'd happily pay him for his time. He agreed and off we went. Luckily, his chosen route took us right past the hotel in which I was staying and so I feigned momentary memory loss, claiming that in all the excitement I'd forgotten what I was supposed to be ordering for my friend and, if he'd just wait outside for a couple of minutes I'd nip in, find my friend and be reminded what I was getting for him. My helpful miscreant agreed and sat on a bollard waiting for me.

I spent a good twenty minutes watching him from the 10th floor bar, munching on my overpriced prawn baguette and sucking on a Bacardi Breezer.

Birmingham - So rubbish even the muggers can't get it right.



I'm going to sCUNThorpe next week... wish me luck.
( SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 15:01, 1 reply)

Was he finally cleared from the streets when someone pinned him against the wall in a Honda Accord and then beat the shot out of him?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 15:15, closed)