Swindon, you said?
So, Swindon has been mentioned here a few times, but there haven't been any extensive explanations of why this town is so monumentally awful.

Well, having been a Swindon resident for far too long, I feel that I should elaborate on what it is that makes it awful, so please do bear with me as I go into what makes Swindon vile.

At the most fundamental level, Swindon is just wrong. That is possibly the best descriptive term I can think of for it. Something about the town makes you feel uncomfortable from the moment that you enter it until the happy hour of your departure.

I will not try and make it sound like the chav scum problem, or the poorly managed infrastructure is worse here than it is elsewhere in the UK - the sad fact is that it isn't, but it provides an excellent example of the chav scum sub-culture. There are a number of chavvy neighborhoods, liberally smattered throughout the town in order to ensure that the population as a whole remains thoroughly intimidated at all times. An incredibly low police presence doesn't help the normal, decent folk feel safe either.

Swindon is also used as a test bed for many possible national innovations (most of which fail) simply because the population of the town is considered to be a demographic average of the population of the UK. It's depressing to know that you live in a place that will only ever be average to the companies of the world. It has no character, no beauty, no redeeming features whatsoever. God / Allah / Bhudda / The flying Spaghetti Monster / (insert deity of choice here) has a rain cloud perched over the town of Swindon, forever raining, as penance for the towns sins against humanity.

The railway village (one of the only areas of Swindon that you would describe as having character) has been populated with the worst sectors of scum that you can have in Swindon - so this rare, attractive part of the town is immediately brought into disrepute.

Swindon was the blueprint for the NHS, back in the days that the railway works were in operation. I don't think there will ever be a sufficient apology for that.

There are worse places in the world (I can imagine that Somalia is probably in a worse state of affairs), and coming from Greenock originally, I always looked on Swindon as a nice, civilised place to spend my formative years. When I moved to Munich at age 12, I realised what a complete disgrace the town was.

Did you know that Europe considers the magic roundabout (wikipedia it) in Swindon to be a cruel joke, and most people just plain don't believe it exists. There are occasional husks of cars in the central reverse roundabout from the visitors that stumbled across it.

A night out in Swindon usually results in Violence, abuse, and the intervention of the riot police. This is the normal state of affairs for the town.

I don't know what else to say really. I've been resident in the town for 16 years, and I will soon be escaping to Auckland.

I guess I wanted to get as far away from Swindon as I could, so roughly 15,000 miles was about the best I could manage.

Apologies for the lack of humour here, but I didn't feel it was appropriate.
(Ryushin, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 14:40, 4 replies)

I saw a proper fight in a bowling alley in Swindon
Trufax. About 10 v 6. With bottles and glasses.

Never went back.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 15:51, closed)

The magic roundabout definitely exists!
It's incredible! If you're not expecting it you'll keech your drawers when you reach it!
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:12, closed)

I've driven through Swindon countless times when I lived nearby
but have always, always managed to avoid it.

I think I'll give it a go next time I'm there.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 16:18, closed)

Meaty
My only experience of Swindon is when I had a weekly job driving to an abattoir on the outskirts. I had to wait for an hour, trying not to slip on the innards while a slightly strange man found me a pile of cows' feet and tails which he plonked messily into a biohazard bag. Whether it was representative of the town I can only surmise. . .
(moosefish, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 21:41, closed)