Civil Service
In 2003, I landed a job at a certain department of the Civil Service based in an East Midlands city. It was a pretty crappy job, but after a few months on the dole and having lost the house, I needed to be able to support wife & child, so I bit this particular bullet.

It took four interviews to get the job. Four! For a £26K post! FFS! That included a trip to said city, reasonably enough, and a trip to Birmingham for no fathomably good reason; all 4 of these were from NE London. Two were in NW London too. Make of that what you will.

So I get this job, and get landed with a team of three called the Dream Team, because that's what they weren't.

Team Member #1 was the best of the lot - old guy, one grade below me, doing his time until he retired. Good honest chap, bit jobsworthy sometimes, but generally a Good Bloke. Nothing bad to say there.

Team member #2 was a woman in her late thirties , a cancer survivor - but from the way she told it, she may as well have been a victim. (Before we go further, my mum died of cancer so off your high horses.) Fat arse, hunch back, pin head, shit haircut and the personality of Goebbels. Nasty spiteful piece of shit. Again one grade below me but thought she was better. Evidently not or you'd have got my job!

Team member #3 was late twenties short dumpy woman, wannabe Yuppie scum though. Bought a brand new MG-TF, then decided it was too low to the ground to drive. After hubby has done what 15K and up? on it. Wanted a Burberry bag to carry when she went out in her jeans under the impression that it was a 'good look'. Quite. Obsessive compulsive too, so at least the stationary cupboard was tidy.

So anyway, I get assigned these three and a task to oversee a piece of work which wasn't furiously difficult, end result being I spent a lot of time on the Net.

Boss realises he's recruited poorly and vastly overestimated the task, and tries to stitch me up to cover his fuckup. Starts by giving me a warning for reading Viz at my desk as I ate my lunch (true!!), then it's disciplinary meetings but with no 3rd party observers, and he writes up the minutes which don't accurately reflect the meeting, as you'd expect. I think I'm getting stitched here and get the Union involved, who weigh in heavy (thanks Paul Matt et al).

Cut a long story short, he calls me into his office at 17:15, to tell me I'm going home suspended on full pay. The Union shuts up shop at 17:00, this is no coincidence. The crime is 'misuse of the Internet' which means ebay, Hotmail, and Yahoogroups - a crime more than 50% of the workforce is guilty of at this establishment.

That was the Tuesday.

Wednesday, found a job on Jobserve, called up, they're v enthusiastic as it was a firm I'd worked for before. Can i attend interview in Watford on Thursday? Damn straight I can, no job to go to after all.

Thursday interview, goes swimmingly, can I be on site Friday 10am?

Yeah alright then, I can do that. Where? Swindon? Go on then.

Sunday, I write my resignation letter to the aforementioned Civil Shithole and start a contract with a 50% pay rise. The one after that doubled again, and I've since settled back into permanent roles with an increase in salary of 128% over November 2003, much better people to work with, and no arsehole boss.

So in closing - Dave, from Sunderland, at a Civil Service place in the East Midlands, who lives in Crewe - you're a fucking arsehole, mate. :)

Apols for length but damn I feel better.
(InfiniteZenMaster, Thu 23 Feb 2006, 14:14, Reply)