You meet the nicest people on trains.
Friday night, off to visit some friends and bounce around in a greasy rock club – Rock City in Nottingham, I think. Four lads (17 or so) from Peterborough were on the carriage I joined, standing room only, huddled in the space by the doors. Here’s how the conversation went.

‘Your missus is a bit mental, Mark’
‘Fuck you.’
‘Yeah, but she is, isn’t she?’
‘No!’
‘What about that time you didn’t answer your phone and she left you a million messages?’
‘Oh, well, yeah. Maybe a bit.’
‘Haha, Steve’s right, Mark, she is.’
‘Like you’re allowed to comment, Danny, you’re dating a schoolgirl.’
‘Fuck off!’
‘Yeah, but you are.’
‘I’m not!’
‘You’re not going out with her, or she’s not at school?’
‘Just leave it.’
‘Haha fine, fine, whatever… Grab his phone!’
‘Hey! Fuck off! Leave it! Get off me! Give that back!’
‘Haha got it! Hold his arms, boys, I’m gonna read out some messages!’
‘Look, it’s nothing dodgy. I’m not a paedo or anything!’
At this point I’m giggling to myself, unable to hold it in.
‘Look, even that dude thinks you’re a paedo!’

To be honest mate, it does sound like you’re a bit of a paedo…

‘Haha lets find out!’
‘Just leave it, Mark…’
‘Lets see. “HI BABE HOW R U? XX TB” Aww. That’s nice. Lets read another.’
‘Stop it or I’ll fucking knock you out!’
‘Ohh! Here we go! “WANT 2 MEET UP AFTER SCHOOL?” Paedo!’
‘Ahh, fuck…’

At which point the whole carriage bursts out laughing at him, to shouts of 'nonce' and 'paedo'.

Poor Danny.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:31, 1 reply)

Hahahahaha that Danny!
He's such a paedo.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:47, closed)