Mr Jowitt
...was our chemistry teacher. He was universally loathed due to his petty little-Hitler outlook and, lacking the respect necessary to keep a roomful of teenage boys under control, generally spent a lot of the time shouting and threatening his pupils. Long before I'd started at the school somebody had started a rumour he was gay, with little if any justification, but it had stuck.

Anyway.

One day we were being treated to his long-winded sermon on the dangers of handling some chemical or other. In fact, he had a small vial of the stuff between his thumb and forefinger, and was waving it back and forth while ranting about how careful we needed to be when working with the stuff. And then he dropped it.

It was a joy to watch his flailing arms and panicked expression as he watched the vial fall and then smash on the floor. Even more so when people began to cough theatrically -- at first just a few, then everyone was going at it like Bob Fleming, hamming it up for all we were worth.

He shooed us quickly from the lab, and while he returned to clean up the spill we all buggered off for the remainder of the two-period session.

Win!
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:15, Reply)