Mr Howells
was a PE teacher and every one called him Strauss. Mainly cos he spoke fast - "hellomynameismrhowells" and it comes out Strauss.

He was a bit of a cock though and I liked to remind Strauss' best mate - Mr Fosh, my Geography teacher about this occasionally, for no other reason than i was a bit of a twat.

Mr Fosh snapped one day on a field trip. He took us all for an Indian, and on the way there, I asked him quite loudly, "why is Strauss such a cunt?". He grabbed me by the neck and held me against a wall, my feet not touching the ground. It fucking hurt.

With his other hand he punctuated the sentence "do. not. call. my. friend. MISTER. Howells. a. CUNT. again" with violent jabs to my solar plexus.

And I tell you what, I never fucking did.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:39, Reply)