The Bod
Mr Bodzanovitch, or Mr Bod to most, was a legend in our school, and to an extent, the surrounding schools, as the stories spread. He got in the paper once for throwing a party to celebrate Princess Diana's death. He built his own mini-cannon and blew the shit out of a public toilet.
He taught physics, and liked to play with electricity. Here are some of his exploits.

He once knocked out the electricity of the whole science block by showing us why you shouldn't dip a plug in water, plug it in and switch it on.

He 'solved' the wasp problem around the maths block by climbing up a ladder to where the nest was on the side of the building, and twatted it with a stick! We literally fell to the floor watching him slide down a ladder and run, followed by easily 100 wasps.

He had 8 cars, all of which I am convinced are not road legal, as they were falling apart, and the newest is about 60 years old. One has a mattress in the back, one has a toilet.

He hated me (i know all kids are convinced a teacher hates them, but he really did) and once announced I had a detention for not handing in some coursework, despite the fact I had done it. I did the detention, and printed off another copy.
The next week, the same thing happened, and did so, for 3 more weeks, until I gave him a signed witness form from the whole class, and a photo taken the week beforehand of me handing it to him.

Without a doubt, the best story. Mr Bod was an egg. He wasn't just fat, he was literally an egg.
He was showing us electromagnetism, and attached a pole to the ceiling using electromagnetic plates. He demonstrated the strength of it by getting some of us to do pull-ups on the pole. We convinced him to do it, and of course, they instantly separated and he crashed to the floor. Now, for those who remember, in science rooms, because of the gas taps, all the desks are really long, and nailed down so u don't break the pipes or anything. He fell between the desks, and because of his epic proportions, he didn't have enough space to roll over and get up.
He was like an upturned tortoise. Of course, we did the sensible thing, and all left. Apparantly it took him about an hour of yelling to get help.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Sat 31 Jan 2009, 14:41, Reply)