I gots my edumekation
I have a few stories from my school days.

Like most, I wasn't popular, but I wasn't picked on or hated. I graduated in 2000, so instead of emos we had goths. I grew up in rural Oklahoma, so my school was extremely small and everyone pretty much got along.

A few of my favorite stories include:

- We had a girl in the class above me who was in a wheelchair. And not just any wheelchair, but a fancy electric one. She was allowed to leave class early, and the entire school could hear her driving about, a sound somewhere between a go-kart and a golf cart.

Anyway, in our art class there were electrical sockets in the floor at every station. I assume they were intended for use of some type art tools that our school didn't have because they'd rather buy the losing football team new uniforms.

I digress... so these electrical sockets had accumulated small bits of paper over the years that the janitor was too lazy to try to sweep up. One day the girl in the wheelchair went to the back of the classroom to get some supplies and happily whirred over a socket, which somehow generated a spark, which ignited years and years worth of scrap paper. A small fire burned for a good 20 minutes before the nutcase art teacher saw it and freaked out. She blamed the usual class clown, and he took it, as we didn't have the heart to tell wheelchair girl she had caused the fire.

- Our Jr High had some type of crazy "modern" design, well, modern in the 60s. It was actually kind of cool, we had a few upstairs classrooms that over looked the common areas, which made for interesting gazing out the windows during boring lessons. The library was in the middle of the school, and sunk down about 6 feet with angled glass all around it, and the teachers lounge was an open room that sat above the library.

Of course, every school has the weird substitute teacher. Ours wore polyester suits and had a bad combover with thick glasses and walked around with a briefcase.

I had the misfortune of having English my first hour, so there we were, looking up references for our research papers, feeling pretty miserable in general when we heard some weird noise from the teachers lounge... followed by a briefcase flying out of the stairwell and skidding down the angled glass. We chuckled slightly and started to look back at our work when we heard much louder thumping then saw a mass of polyester and stringy hair tumble out from the stairwell. The teacher lay there crumpled for a moment and we all stood perfectly still thinking we just witnessed someone die. Then he stood up, straightened his coat jacket, fixed his combover, and retrieved his briefcase from the glass and walked off, as if nothing happened. Everyone, including the teachers, exploded with laughter.

- And lastly, at my high school there were reserved parking spaces for teachers only. Naturally they were the row closest to the building. However the sign that read "TEACHERS ONLY" sat in the MIDDLE of one parking spot. The was a most coveted spot by students, as it was obviously half student and half teacher, so it was a free for all. I happened to take a college course in the middle of the day and always got to park there when I returned back to the school later in the day.

Well, one day the vice principal saw me park there and issued a Saturday detention. I was a bit miffed I'd miss a day of pay from my part time job, but I thought it would be cool to have a few hours to catch up on reading some books and magazines I had laying around. I arrived to school and the bitch watching over everyone wouldn't let me in the door because I didn't have any "real schoolwork" to do. I explained it was the end of the semester and all of my classes were done, so I literally didn't have anything at all to do. She still wouldn't let me in, so I just shrugged it off and enjoyed my work free Saturday afternoon.

The next Monday the Vice Principal pulled me out of my first class and told me I was suspended for the day for not going to Saturday school. I told him the old bat wouldn't let me do my Saturday school, then I told him that was the dumbest punishment ever, to "allow" someone to not show up for school when the "offense" was not showing up to school in the first place. He then raised it to a three day suspension and I said "Thanks! Now I can pick up extra shifts for the money I missed last Saturday" and happily trotted off.

Of course they called my mom, who just happened to be a paralegal for the district attorney. She then laughed at the whole story and stated she'd have her boss look into the matter.

I don't know what he found, but I do know I was allowed to make up the work I missed while I was suspended, the whole incedent was dropped from my record, and the old bat was relieved of her Saturday School duties.
(StupidAmericanTourist, Sun 1 Feb 2009, 5:40, Reply)