I went to two catholic schools
and subsequently stay the fudge away from church these days. The secondary school was home to every cretin within a 3 mile radius and wasn’t particularly pious. But my primary school jolly well was.

I'm one of the few people I know who really hated primary school - most say it was a laugh riot - but I just remember feeling scared and anxious the whole time.

It was all a bit *slap slap* wicked child you see. There were no male teachers, no Darwin's theory of evolution and punishment was standing with your face against a brick wall.

Once my brother, who was in year two at the time, got his darling picture of the 3 wise men torn up because he had painted their hair blue. He didn't tell us about this traumatic experience until years later which was a shame as my mum would have torn strips off her like.

Anyway I have many glum memories of my time in primary school as the weird kid, but one that sticks out rather well, and really isn't that traumatic or funneh is of one day in year 3 when we had a wet break and the whole of year 3 were sat in the hall twiddling their thumbs. I would just like to mention as it is relevant that every Easter we had to watch a pretty unpleasant video about the crucifixion. Whilst not being Passion of the Christ, it still wasn't very nice for us bug-eyed little scamps and someone would always end up in tears.

Anyway on this particular break, a teacher holds up the Holy Grail - a VHS copy of Home Alone and suggests we watch it. The hall cannot contain its excitement. Such a thing of joy or fun has never been viewed within these walls and the likes of wont be seen again until the truly bizarre 'some of your bits ain’t nice' sex ed video we will watch in year 6 (don’t know how they let that one pass).

But "oooh noo" quoth a lardy teacher, pointing at the PG certificate, "We couldn’t possibly let them watch it without their parent's consent." And so any chance of fun is nicely chucked out of the window and we watch something about Jesus instead. I always wanted to know what certificate that crucifixion video was. The cows. Any by the way how the fuck was Watership Down a U??! Not that we got to watch that in school.

The injustices of this world are just too much sometimes.
(Eldoofus, Sun 1 Feb 2009, 12:30, 3 replies)

oh god...flashback time!
We had to watch the 'some of your bits ain't nice' video too. Actually thinking about it are they even allowed to say that?
(europe-who, Sun 1 Feb 2009, 13:58, closed)

Probably not
I just remember the whole thing leaving me totally confused...
(Eldoofus, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 15:10, closed)

Some of your bits...
yup, I remember that one too! They tried it out on us (year 9) before they let it loose on the year 6 kids.

(For some strange reason "big school" started in year 6, not year 7... I think they changed that later on.)
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 17:51, closed)