Burning Snowman
Back in high school, I was part of the nerd clique, but there was no one really to bully us so we let our creativity run wild.

One time the others were having a conversation in my absence, and the topic of oxymorons came up (you know, like controlled chaos or US military intelligence). One of my friends blurted out "Burning snowman!" There was kind of a Frankenstein moment when another friend exclaimed "It...Could...Work!" They decided that doused with petrol (sorry, I'll probably slip and call it gas) it would be possible.

It was winter, so we gave it a shot out in the big field that happened to be across the street from the then world's largest shopping mall, West Edmonton Mall (and the two Beijing malls that displaced it sound like they will close down very soon).

First we needed an accelerant. We went to a gas station with the excuse we needed fuel for a snowblower. With a $20 deposit we got a gas can to hold the gas, and we returned to our snowman.

We doused the snowman and set it ablaze. It takes a lot of energy to melt ice, so a little gasoline sets it on fire for an impressively long time. It was truly a beautiful sight.

Next winter, we did it over by my house, which was adjacent to a riverside ravine. We built a Satan snowman and a God snowman, and we set them on fire to see which side would win this battle of titans. While they were still burning, someone happened to walk up the path. We quickly hid, and this person walked by, saw the burning Satan and God snowmen, quickly shielded it with a single hand so he wouldn't have to look at it, and hurried past. Satan ended up burning the longest, but there was debate over whether that meant he fought the longest, or whether God's assault outlasted Satan's own.

Last time I returned to Canada in the wintertime, I brought my now wife with me and introduced her to the now traditional Canadian winter pastime of burning snowmen. She was quite insulted by our immaturity. I can't wait until next time I'm in a climate with decent snow so I can light a snowman ablaze.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)