Turkey
A spirited, eccentric and hyperactive Geography bore, known to all as Turkey, was renown for his wild-eyed, stick waving antics, usually accompanied by threats of "beats to the shoulders".

Frequently he'd prance about in front of a bewildered class, long wooden stick clasped in his boney mitt, spewing threatening gibberish towards the unruly masses.

It all came to a head the day he allowed his excitement to overcome him and he smashed the strip light above his head, showering himself in glass and a cloud of fluorescent dust.

I fondly remember watching with a vacant boredom as he berated a fellow student, while carving the air with his beloved stick, looking ever more like a mong playing pirates.

The pupil, a young black fellow who'd been bought up on the mean streets of Battersea, responded to this berating with his customary kiss of his teeth and a nonchalant "cha", or words to that effect.

The response from the front of the class guaranteed that no amount of stick waving would rescue the lesson, as an indignant Turkey retorted with a loud and pointed "None of your ethnic ways in my class, boy."

Half the room descended into an outraged funk, vowing to "do him" for his unashamed racism. The other half collapsed in uncontrollable laughter, and spent the remainder of the lesson trying to hide their sniggers behind fake coughs.
( Moey, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)