3 years ago
When I was 14 years old, I was getting into a lot of trouble at school.

One day, we were enduring a mindnumbingly boring drugs talk (come on, like anyone actually takes a blind bit of notice), which happened to be in the computer room. Me and my friend (Will) stumbled across a church sign generator while gormlessly surfing the internet (which can be found here btw: www.churchsigngenerator.com/classic1.php )

After the predictable (pre)pubescent jokes, which consisted of generating a church sign saying "MAX IS A CUNT"/"WILL'S MUM TAKES IT UP THE NOSTRIL" in big bold letters and saving it as your background, we decide to go one step further, and write about one of the biggest losers in the school (Harry).

From what I remember, it said something like:

HARRY ALEXANDER
AND HIS FAT ASS MUM
STAR IN
INCEST FOR BEGINNERS
LIVE FILMINGS - SATURDAY 3PM

or something similar.

Anyway, as soon as the drugs talk had finished, we stayed behind to print 7 of these posters off on A3 paper.
And set to work.

10 minutes later a poster was pinned to each one of the main noticeboards around the school, and one was placed strategically into his folder for maximum effect.

An hour later, in my ICT lesson, the headmaster storms in with an A3 piece of paper clutched in his sweaty paw. He demanded the ICT teacher to find out who printed off the "atrocity".
He fiddles with the mouse and keyboard on his computer for a minute (I was shitting myself, quite literally at this point, for I could not remember whose school account we used to print off the posters).
I listened closely, my heart beating rapidly, my face paler than the elegant white it usually was, I heard the faint whisper "er..William Sinclair".

I relaxed, but not for long, as I needed to find Will urgently to make sure he didn't grass me up.

I didn't see him until assembly, later that day, where he had been made to sit on his own, away from everyone else, at the back of the hall. I needed to make contact with him somehow, so, at the end of the assembly, which seemed to take decades, when we were all leaving, I told him as I passed him, "don't grass me up fool".

Most of the school knew the whole story by now, and I was truly amazed that the teachers never found out I was involved. I didn't get in any shit for it, so I was jumping for joy.

The next thing I heard Will had been suspended for 5 days. His punishment was extended due to the fact that Harry had been found in his study clutching the piece of paper in his chubby little mits, in tears.
Also, the fact that he was Jewish and the message had been on a Christian church sign, had something to do with it...

I was laughing for days.
(Btw, don't feel sorry for Harry, as he was a complete Wanker, and one of the most arrogant, attention seeking and rudest people I ever met - hope you're reading ;D).

Anyway yeah, sorry for the length, I got a bit carried away...
(Maxx. SAY NO TO PUBIC HARIS, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 21:05, Reply)