Monkeysex Pugilistics
When I was twelve years old my family moved from an RAF base in Germany, to a leafy little village in Surrey, and I found myself in a civilian school for the first time ever.
It was alien to me, military kids are very well disciplined; they behave and respect their elders. There was even a hierarchy in the playground, depending on the rank of the child’s parent, and the intelligence of the child themselves. The civilian hierarchy was the almost the exact opposite, the biggest kids were in charge, and then there were the good looking ones, then the geeks and the finally the Über geeks.

On my first day I made the mistake of sitting at the back of the class, where the two largest and most intimidating bullies, Ricky, a tall, blonde chavvy kid, and Steve, a gigantic, muscle-bound lummox, sat. After a few weeks I distanced myself from them and started to join a new friendship group, but they didn’t like that, and while on my way to a History lesson, Ricky flicked the back of my ear with an elastic band at point blank range.
It stung like hell, and without thinking I spun around and told him to fuck off. He got right into my face and snarled through yellow teeth, ‘What are you going to do about it?’ Nursing my sore ear, and my pride in front of my new friends, I just stared back. ‘You wanna fight about it?’ he barked.
I was pretty sensitive about my ears back then, they’ve always stuck out.
‘Yeah,’ I said, not really sure what I was letting myself in for. He looked like he was slightly taken aback, he wasn’t really expecting that response, or what I said next. ‘…but we’ll have to fight at lunchtime, my bus leaves really early and I don’t want to miss it.’

So the rumble was agreed, the next day at lunchtime we were going to meet in the field and fight, all because he’d flicked my ear. News spread, I received congratulations and commiserations wherever I went, people I didn’t know were telling me that I was going to get killed, but thanking me for standing up to him.
The pressure was building, the morning before the fight my guts were churning, but I wasn’t too worried. Ricky wasn’t much taller than me, but he was about the same build. I hadn’t been in any real fights before, so I didn’t know what to expect, whereas Ricky looked like he’d been in a few, he had the confident air of a boy who had regularly kicked other boys in the teeth.

Lunchtime rolled up, and I waited by the CDT block with my friends gathered around me. Then more people gathered around me. I had most of the boys in the year egging me on, urging me to find Ricky and initiate combat. He was waiting by the picnic benches, with Steve and a few other mean kids.
The pressure was really getting to me now, every muscle in my body was going tense, and I was physically shaking, I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I stomped over to where the enemy stood.

I squared up to him, a crowd of fifty or more people standing around us. He smirked at me, and without a moment’s hesitation I threw the first punch.
I connected perfectly with the side of his face, his teeth rattled against my knuckles, and he fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
A sudden rush of victory came over me, here I was, standing over one of the biggest bullies in the school, and all it had taken was a single punch. I felt like the fucking king of the universe.
Except the fight wasn’t over, I’d missed my chance to keep Ricky down. I should have dived on him, kicking and punching like a maniac, because in the time that I’d paused, he was getting back up. ‘Oh fuck. Ohfuckofuckofuck’.

He must have been dazed because he threw three punches, and all of them missed, but as I ducked and stepped back to avoid his violent swinging fists, somebody in the crowd behind me stuck their foot out. I fell down, and Ricky capitalised on the opportunity, I could feel his school shoes hitting my in the stomach, but I didn’t feel any pain. The adrenalin rush had numbed me completely, he could have beaten me to death and I wouldn’t have cared.

Luckily I had a saviour in the crowd, a guy in year 11 who got the same bus as me stepped into the fray. This guy was huge. He pulled Ricky off me and said, ‘Oi, stop it,’ when the crowd asked why, he replied simply, ‘because this kid gets on my bus.’

I got up, dusted myself off and walked back out through the crowd, which had doubled since the start of the fight. Most of my friends looked at me disappointedly, not because I’d lost, but because I’d been fighting at all.
The school bell rang and we returned to class, but Ricky wasn’t there. As the teacher was taking afternoon registration, Steve walked into the room, and very politely told me that the headteacher wanted to see me. A little bit of me died.
I walked the fifty yards to the head teacher’s office, dragging my heavy feet beneath me, and I sat on a little chair in the reception area, next to my adversary.

I couldn’t have felt prouder at that moment, looking at Ricky. I’d deflated him completely; the whole side of his face that I’d managed to hit was bright red, and looked really swollen and sore, while I didn’t have a single mark on me. I couldn’t help letting out a little chuckle when I saw him. He couldn’t even look at me, and didn’t bother me again.

We both got suspended for three days.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 8:55, 2 replies)

You deserve a reply
you big wobbly sackful of wanking spanners*

Well done for giving him a taste of his own medicine *click*

*Off Topic words of endearment
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:38, closed)

Always knew you were a troublemaker
You chuffnut.


;)


and a big wet kiss
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:20, closed)