Last story
I could flesh this one out, but I don't think I have the skills for that so I'll keep it short. Sometime in my school career I ended up having a punch up with my best mate in the toilets because he kept pushing me while I was trying to have a wee.

It ended up with me being sent to the headmaster with a massive shiner and tears running down my cheek. When standing in his office he asked why the fight had started.

'Well sir, I was just standing at the urinal and he kept pushing me'
'I see. And then what happended?'
It was then that I uttered the immortal line, '...err and then I tried to piss on his leg sir'.

I got a shiner from my best mate that day, six of the best from the headmaster and a leg covered in my own piss.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:24, 1 reply)

Quality!
Well done, Sir !!!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:44, closed)