Shit first or Gore? Oh... I'll give you the Gore....

In primary school you were told never to swing on your chair. This is why.

"Rachel, stop swinging on your chair!"
"Rachel, stop swinging on your chair, you might hurt yourself."
"I won’t tell you again, Rachel!!"

She didn’t have to. Rachel lost control on a back-swing and fell, glancing her head off the wooden desk behind in such a way that she partially scalped herself.

Not over yet.

Swinging forward, in a mad, shocked attempt to compensate and right herself again, little Rachel slumped forward and smashed off all her front teeth on the desk in front of her.

Head wounds really *bleed*, it was like an abattoir, gore and hair and glistening, naked head-membrane as she howled and gurgled blood between the shattered stumps of her teeth.

It wasn’t funny in the slightest.
(HaHa!Snakes! was last seen on, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 19:05, 1 reply)

Been there
Not quite bludfest, but used to swing on the front of the chair.

One day slipped and the chair + my body weight = head locked into desk with arms flailing.
Was a while before teacher bothered checking her pupils, then noticing a rather sedate child locked to a desk!
(FunOnABun Smears lard on you!, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 22:35, closed)