Most disturbing perhaps...
Oh those halcyon days...

Whilst school was a constant draw on my time, I did manage to find ways to make it through the day. There would be far too many stories to do in one hit as it were, so synopsis time.

One of my pet victims was the librarian. Competitions would range from trying to see how many crocodile clips could be attached to the hem of her skirt, to how high a jump could be illicited via the use of a hefty tome. I won the librarian round with the coup de grace; I sneaked in and dropped the right hand side of every shelf in the building by one notch thus creating the same distorted view as an enemy of batman's hideout!

Many other fun times were had, but they were funnier than the story I shall relate, thus rendering this post hazardous in view of the topic.
(Those of a scataphobic nature should look away now)

The moment from school that sits most heavily on my mind was after a sixth form party type thing. Where drink was allowed and much vomiting ensued. (Not on my part I hasten to add.) At the end of the evening, being a 'nice boy' I stayed behind to help wash up etc.
A fellow student came rushing in to tell me about something I had to see to believe. Somewhat cautiously I followed him into the gents to see what can only be described as "The Arm". In the cubicle, somehow still contained by the pan was the most comprehensive turd I've ever had the misfortune to confront. Fully as wide as my forearm, it started from under the s-bend and in one continuous push, so to speak, reared its head clear of the rim.

This clearly required one gargantuan effort on the part of the do-er. How it was physically possible I'll never know. Thoughts of having to raise one's buttocks up to finish because of the back pressure weighed big time on my young mind. It would have been impossible to remain seated throughout the performance.
Its name (and its memory) stuck. If only camera 'phones were de rigeur at the time I would have been able to (no on second thoughts)

I do apologise for the lack of funny stories of which I can assure you dear reader there were many. But this is what I remember most from my days at school.

Length? Seriously, I think I've tried to convey just how truly horrific it was.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 16:19, Reply)