The Professional
In Year 7, just starting in senior school, I hung out with the creative kids at our school. I did it primarily because of one girl, with long blonde hair and gorgeous eyes and a love of dark humour and sarcasm. She introduced me to On The Hour. She was wonderful.

I heard she was being picked on by an alpha male bully, who was a stocky lump of troglodyte. He was the tallest and heaviest of our year. Anyone in our group wouldn't be able to take him in a fight, so we tried to keep out of his way. He had asked her out. She'd said no. He'd made her life difficult since then, tugging on her hair or pulling at her backpack as she walked past him in corridors, sending her teetering backwards, for his own amusement.

So, a week after I hear about the bullying, we have our weekly PE lesson - and as the weather's terrible and wet, what better sport to play than rugby outside? Me and Lump are on opposite teams. He's screaming at his team if they don't pass to him and he's running through our team for fun; being a good half-foot taller and several stones heavier, nobody could stop him. In the conventional way, anyhow.

With a few minutes to go of the match, he's only got me between himself and the goal line for another try. He smirks and leans down to smash into me, sensing with my slender frame he might be able to snap me in half. He didn't know I intended to avenge the torture my first crush had endured.

I slide out of the way like a bullfighter, and as he goes past he straightens back up, jogging to the goal line. I've turned and I'm just behind him after four giant strides. Both feet get off the floor and my right foot extends as I put every pound of force into a Charlie Brown all-or-nothing kick, and it hits right where I wanted, right into his bollocks from behind. I can vividly recall the sensation on the top of my foot as it crushed his grapes. He yelped and jumped a good eighteen inches off the floor in shock and had managed to contort into the foetal position before he even hit the ground.

I will never feel as masculine as I did, leaning over his writhing body, at any other point in my life. Three weeks of detention? It made the story even more exciting to the kids in my year. In the end, puberty spurts for most of us meant the bully was less of a menace to our year. I still didn't get the girl. I did, however, earn the nickname Léon from my religious studies teacher.
(rzeki, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 11:11, 3 replies)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 16:54, closed)

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( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

Nice One
It's the little victories eh?
(friedel, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 12:10, closed)