The naughtiest thing a builder ever did at our school
This is all a bit second-hand, but it's my favourite story since I started this miserable teaching job. Sadly, I wasn't there, but it's too good not to be true.

A couple of years ago our school let go a ginger kid. We'll call him Shaun. I'd had the unfortunate luck to have to teach him for all five years of his school career, and thanked all known Gods that he'd actually managed to get a C at GCSE Science, thereby making me look reasonably competent. He was a cocky little so-and-so, full of bullshit, mouth like the Mersey Tunnel; a likeable lad for all that, but still a royal pain in the arse.

My best mate Gavin, head of History, also got saddled with him for GCSEs, and took his class on a trip, ostensibly to see the history of a nearby town. This trip started in the corner of a car park, and being the prudent teacher, Gavin asked if any of the kids needed to use the public toilets before setting off on their little walking tour.

Of course Shaun was the only one who wanted to go. So after he'd strutted off flicking oblique winks at his friend in acknowledgement of his wasting class time, Gavin made sure to prep the rest of the class to wind him up a bit. So he encourages everyone to give Shaun a round of applause and a cheer when he emerges from the Gents.

What he hadn't banked upon was the small crowd of builders who entered the Gents just after Shaun.

Shaun exits the toilets.

Gavin and the rest of the class applaud enthusiastically.

Very large builder with muscles like ham hocks exits right behind Shaun

Builder realises the applause is directed towards Shaun (thankfully) and bellows at the top of his voice: "He's got a tiny dick, you know!"

Shaun's face turns redder than his absurd hair and he remains remarkably quiet for the rest of the trip. Gavin has five minutes of private hysterics on the minibus under the guise of 'looking for his wallet'.

Length? Not terribly much, apparently...
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 23:36, 2 replies)

My name is Shaun
I read it wondering if you were talking about me. At least...I don't think you are, but I do have a bad memory.
(MrTeapot hasn't played with himself since, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 0:29, closed)

Nah
Shaun is a pseudonym. I thought it wise to forbear from actually mentioning his real name.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 8:19, closed)