Of "squatter toilets" in France
As has been described in eariler postings, Some of the more rustic areas in france and spain have the ubiquitous "squatter" toilet. This particulat style of toilet resembles a precelain shower-tray, with a pair of "foot plates" cast into it, and a hole of approximately "clenched fist" Diameter...
During our Childhood, my family traveled in france every now and then... my brother (12) and I (10) became hardened Squatter-users.
The problems were many, mostly due to the sizing and spacing of these foot plates... they were designed for ADULTS.
The two most memorable mistakes are these...

It was most often that the initial log-cabins where built infront of the hole in the porcelein, such was our stature. The flushing systems on these crappers ranged from a hose-pipe and squirty nozzle, to the more powerful tank-pipe-fixenozzle system. I will never forget waiting in line (with some locals) to use the single toilet, as my brother attmpted to flush the system. The fixed nozzle neatly floated and surfed his dung-castle out under the stall door.... paper and all... he pissseed himself laughing and shouted "did you see that"... and swallowed his laughter VERY fast as he exited and saw the two guys stood behind me.

The second (scuse the length gov') incedent followed a particularly violent prawn-induced shit storm. My brother's indignant screams issued from the stall next to me, as his sprayed his slurry directly at the porcelain between his legs.... it bounced, splattered, sprayed and coated the underside of his thighs, and arse. As we were at a campsite, and barefoot, he was able to clean this off.... all would have been great... but for one thing..
Insult was added to humiliation when he failed to guage the powser of the "flushing hose", took aim, fired, and blasted a jet of water at his slurry. From the shit-monster that emerged, it became clear that this tidal wave of arse-stew had been hurled at the wall by the power of the water jet, and splashed all over my brother. He was coated head to foot in his own shit. When I'd finished laughing I obligingly hosed the poor bugger off.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 7 May 2004, 11:58, Reply)