Japan
A beautiful country full of contradictions. On the one hand ancient, the other ultra-modern.

Take the shitters.

One day you're squatting over holes in the ground, getting cramp in your legs and only avoiding a dunk in the pool by grabbing on for dear life to the bog-roll holder.

Next day you're in a restaurant with something that wouldn't have gone amiss on the Enterprise....

A shitter with controls! WTF? Button after button in indecipherable script. Soooo much curiosity..... soooo much fear as to what they might do. At the back of the "control panel" I spied a dial. Hmmmm - what could this mean? It's on about half-power - bah - pussies! Let's whack it up to full velocity.....

Having finished a perfectly average shit I was overtaken by curiosity. The seat was nice and warm, so I assumed that the dial was simply for lid temperature. What harm would there be in pressing that cute little yellow button there? Go on Mutski - press it, I dare you.....

Caving in to self-induced peer pressure I pressed the seemingly inoccuous button. It was a very bad idea. In an instant a jet spray of water pierces my ring-piece. How to explain the feeling? Like using a bidet with a car-wash jet spray. Fucking painful, believe me.

Action clearly had to be taken, and fast. Sadly, rather than thinking clearly (i.e. pressing the same button again) I acted purely on instinct and lept from the seat. Which left the jet spray to continue it's course towards the heavens - hitting the ceiling and spraying all over the cubicle. Shitty water everywhere.

Being the responsible man I am, I pelted out of the bogs (jet spray still going), grabbed my mates (who were just about to order), leapt into the car and sped off.

I have a picture of a similar toilet which I encountered later that same week. I may post it if enough of you are interested (although rather embarassingly I took the picture PRIOR to flushing, so it will include my fetid yellow piss in the bowl....)

Nice.
(Mean Mad Mutski, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 16:02, 4 replies)

I too
couldn't understand that about Japan.

Hole in the ground, or superloo.

I loved them though, especially the ones that had 'lady' buttons.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 31 Mar 2008, 17:23, closed)

Hmmmm
I think you owe it to all B3tan's to explain this in more detail Mrs Liveinbin........
(Mean Mad Mutski, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 11:05, closed)

Well....
I've got a picture and if I could work out how to put it on B3TA I would.

Well you know the ones that have a thing to wash your bum......well some loos have a thing to wash your lady garden!!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 1 Apr 2008, 15:05, closed)

..
But of course!!

Wonder what the male equivalent was? Bit gutted I didn't try all the buttons now - could have been in there for hours.....
(Mean Mad Mutski, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)