Lie, Cheat, Steal!!...but im sorry!!!
Lets just say i'm a bit of a thief but not what you would call a criminal by any means lol

Anyhoo when i was 3 years old I was in the local gateway store (how long since one of them was around) and I wanted some sellotape to aid the model making phase i was going through. I was told I couldnt have said sellotape and therefore went on to pocket a packet of it. My slightly older brother saw and dobbed me in to my parents who proceeding to bruise my buttocks with some heavy slaps and I had to put the sellotape back on the shelf.

My career didnt end there however. I was 14 and I stole a small green eraser from a STAR newsagents. The queue was massive and I had to get to school. Also when I was on work experience, it was my last day of the two week stint. I decided to help myself to some items from the stationary cupboard and by god that was a big cupboard. I helped myself to board pens, a packet of drawing pencils, permanent markers, felt tip pens and then said my goodbyes, strolled out of the school and never looked back hehe.

Then when i was 17 I got a job at a famous budget store. The people i worked with were great but the company were bastards. So I robbed them every chance I got. drinks and food which I didnt pay for. I had a new years party a couple of years ago and almost everything including the copious amounts of coca cola and other mixers all involved me on a boxing day spree (well i had a set of keys and the store was closed) to which i loaded up the back of my car with all the relevent party items biscuits, crisps, cakes, drinks, even paper plates, plastic cups and napkins.

Also there were bags which would often come in ripped so I took the genius idea of ripping good bags and saying..'OOPS...these are torn' and went on to take them home lived like kings on the finest Chicken Breast, Beef joines, and numerous other expensive items for months

Even more ashamedly I was always dipping into the til a few quid there and then when they decided to number the till keys we used it was my idea lol, so i just used the switch at the back of the till which manually opens the drawer to pilfer.

Now in retrospect that was wrong and I know that but they were underpaying me for the job I was doing. I was there at 5am many mornings a week and barely got any recognition for it. bastards.

But didnt end there I worked for another shop shortly after leaving there and proceeded to be naughty and help myself on my lunch break bottles of water here and there, packets of crisps. Also used to pilfer bottles, lotions, skin products and all other things when I was in charge.

Still underpayment and no recognition of a job well done can do strange things to a young man.


Also both these companies I worked for very lax on security but tried everything other than actually putting real CCTV cameras in the stores to try and curb it good thing though that new years party was amazing and cost me hardly anything.


Anyhoo I have been clean for about 9 months now and I havent stolen another thing and dont intend to either, councilling is too expensive and you cant steal that.

Length? A mornings work for a Happy New Year!!
(pm1986, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:19, 5 replies)

"I decided to help myself to some items from the stationary cupboard"
Pffft. Stealing from a stationary cupboard is nothing. You should try stealing from a moving one.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:25, closed)

I'm not reading that
until you get rid of all those unnecessary full stops and learn to punctuate sensibly.
(MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:40, closed)

I think he stole a load of full stops and returns
and decided to unload them here.

We don't need your hookey punctuation around these parts, matey.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:42, closed)

Lie, Cheat, Steal!!...but im sorry...about all the puncutation!!!
sorry guys, all cleared up now.

I gave the full stops back to the full stop shop.
(pm1986, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 14:51, closed)

I gave that a click...
...purely for "the full stop shop".
(Musuko, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 15:07, closed)