2 stories
my mrs in both of them. As a crimincal defence solicitor she sees things that are very funny.

This one is when a known shoplifter in Tescos was wandering round with a keen eye for a five fingered bargain. The Store detective see's him, and is so incensed that he runs at him full speed, rugby tackles him to the ground spilling about £15 of goods from his coat. All of this is on CCTV and the chap gets sent to the station to pay for his heineous crime.

On further inspection in court (at huge cost to the taxpayer) you can clearly see the "criminal" had not actually left the store. To shoplift you actually need to to remove the item from the premises. The jobsworth security guard was crestfallen as it was his The Sweeney moment and he completely blew it.
The "innocent" man was allowed free and promptly went and stole a load of DVD's from HMV in a foil bag to stop the bleeper going off. And caught, so ended in the favour of justice.

a few days later my mrs forgets a 99p bottle of salad dressing in the weekly shop - its under something. Just in case its on CCTV she then goes and tries to pay for it as getting caught for criminal offences doesn't sit well with the law society.
She then gets laughed at by the shopstaff when she explains how she didn't shoplift it and wants it noted down that she returned and paid! The minimum wagers made her feel worse than any shoplifter was made to feel as they have rights. They couldn't understand why she didn't just go!
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:28, Reply)