ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
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chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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1992...Circa early 1990's or if you were paying attention...1992 :)
Twas the balmy year of 1992. The World Wide Wrestling federation with Hulk in its corner was the talk of the playground.
Boys enjoyed smashing girls' Barbie dolls with their Bushwhacker ACTION FIGURES. Legion of Doom were the tag team champions (probably...)
This side of The Pond, the newly formed Premier League started. If you werent Arsenal or Man Utd you SCUM (hey, 8 year old kids were TOUGH).
two more blamy things happened that summer. The WWF Magazine, and the Arsenal Magazine.
Well, one afternoon at the local shop-o-mart, there, on the bench was an Arsenal Magazine. I was in awe. Look at me being cool infront of all the other 8year old kids I didnt know, reading THE ARSENAL MAGAZINE.
Mummy and Papa dearest has just rounded the corner to see a BabyBamaged, legs dangling over the edge of the big blue bench, reading the magazine. Life was awesome. The Mummy uttered the immortal words "c'mon bamaged, lets go home...and bring your magazine with you, someone had obviously paid for it and forgotten about it".
My world stopped. The sun shone, and the birds sang. I knew that the mag hadn't been paid for, but I wasnt going to say anything. GOing through the daunting alarm scanner type thingy's my heart stopped. Would they go off? would I be arrested and drafted out to some commune where other 8 year olds who had stolen Arsenal Magazines were sent?...nothing. no sounds. I went home a king. Smug that kudos would be mine in the playground.
The next week we went back to the shop-o-mart. Where lo and behold a WWF magazine...that I may or may not have put there....happened to be sitting on the bench.
I would be King Of The Playground for two weeks in a row! First the Arsenal magazine, now the OFFICIAL WWF magazine I had more power then the local bully. Hell, The bully looked up to me!...well.Mummy and Papa refused to talk to me until we got to the car and the goods were put away. Then the other immortal line was uttered: "you could have just asked"...I was broken. No kudos in the world could have made me feel better. Still feel guilty about that one now.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:41, Reply)
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