When I was a lot younger
we used to go out and steal hubcaps off cars. We stole loads and then at the end of the night we'd dump them in the local park and sometime in a small canal. I lost count of the number of times I did that.

When that got boring we moved onto more challenging items like car emblems and anything else that would come off with a screwdriver. I was rumbled one day when my mom found my collection of porche and Mercedes emblems in my bedside drawer. The excuse that I had found them didn't really hold much water, but equally I'd done quite a bit of damage which my parents didn't want to pay for so we just let that one slide. The real test came about a week late when my mate went out and stripped a merc of its emblems and hubcaps and scratched my number on the bonnet. Thank f*ck I decided to stay home that night so had a rock solid alibi.

I also recall my mate stealing some spanish fly (amyl nitrate) which we were under the impressions made woman horny. Not having a girlfriend handy we used the next best thing - his mum. Giving her regular doses through the day we then set about 'monitoring' her change in attitude. I'm not sure what we were expecting, but looking back now I don't think it was likely that she would crack one off in the tv room. I mean we were only 12 at the time.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:48, 5 replies)

MILF?
Well, was she?
I'm both perverted and curious...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:59, closed)

You stole...
...bits of peoples cars?

You cunt.

At least shops have insurance or factor in the cost of such theft.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 17:05, closed)

Do you feel any guilt whatsoever?

(Musuko, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 13:25, closed)

Spanish fly != amyl nitrite
...although the idea of surreptitiously feeding your mate's mum poppers is quite a funny one.

& I reckon nicking emblems from the twunts who drive Mercs and Porsches is roughly on a par with shoplifting. If you'd done it to normal cars, that would've been harsh.
(stalinism, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 17:19, closed)

This was all done in the....
innocence and naivety of youth so my conscience in clear now. At least by defacing mercs i'm 'robbing' from the rich to give to the , well nobody actually.

As for the mum she was acually a bit of a milf. She used to cut my hair and I think at the time it was one of my first crushes. She's 50 now and her BF is 36 so milf is the order of the day.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 16 Jan 2008, 17:05, closed)