ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
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chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
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Reverse stealingSlaughter's story reminded me.
During secondary school, the textiles technology department was staffed by a herd of vicious screeching harridans (aren't they all?) who used their sense of authority to dish out punishments for the most minor of indiscretions.
One thing that they were particularly neurotic about was ensuring that the number of needles they collected at the end of a class matched the number of needles that they handed out at the beginning. Failure to achieve this would result in the whole class being held for the entirety of a breaktime/lunchtime/hour after school 'looking' for the missing needles.
As the school didn't group technology classes by ability, young rubberduck happened to share a textiles class with some of the 'low achievers'. Seeing as this was Stoke on Trent, for 'low achievers' you can read 'light-fingered pikey scum', who literally would palm anything that wasn't nailed down. Predictably, my class would always be half a dozen needles short at the end of a lesson. Now, being a lardy little fellow, young rubberduck happened to be quite fond of his lunch break, and as he lived several miles from the school he also didn't take kindly to be made to miss his bus home.
The solution? Every week, without fail, rubberduck would bring a handful of sewing needles to make up the required numbers at the end of class. All was fine and dandy and rubberduck got to eat properly and to catch the bus home.
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rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 14 Jan 2008, 10:49,
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