Walking along....
I always took particular pleasure in getting my girlfriend to do something stupid when walking along the street. On one such occasion I spotted a large dog turd ahead. She was lost in my steamy gaze and mindless drivel so I kept her suitably entertained while slowly steering her to the oncoming mountain of dog excrement. 3 - 2 - 1 ....a direct hit!!! She stood right in the middle of the turd. I think my almost instantaneous hysterical laughter was perhaps a bit over the top and may have been somewhat instrumental in implicating me in my premeditated plot.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 17:20, Reply)