Projectile smell cannon
Used to work in an old computer store in Swansea (closed down now, oh the loss :p) and we had a fair few regular customers. We gave nicknames to alot of them as ya do and one such customer was Cat Piss Man.

CPM stank. Every time he came into the store it would always be a case of practically every member of staff making an excuse to leave the shop floor and leave the YTS guy to help him. He resembled a really rough version of Mr Rossi ("Miiiiista Rossi don't you know...") and gave off an odour that seemed to be a mix of b-o and cat piss.

Anyhow the Sony Playstation had just been released to the general public and he wanted one. Our store did a part exchange service and he brought in his SNES; the Street Fighter 2 Turbo bundle no doubt, and after we were all accosted to testing his console out and securing the sale he leaves with his PSOne to return home to Stinksville. Our boss immediately sends one of the guys around to the chemist next door to buy a pack of wet wipes just to restore the console into a resell-able item.

The old SNES boxes were essentially bundled as a large rectangular polystyrene block which held everything, with a thick card sleeve which was sealed on one side slid over it. So we took the sleeve off, put a price sticker on it and chucked it on the shelf. And the sleeve stank of cat piss. The cat must've used it as a home, the sleeve was saturated in the stuff and no amount of air freshener would clear it.

So we did what any self respecting human would do. Did we destroy it? Burn it and just sell the console unboxed? Or did we make the YTS guy look into the open part of the sleeve, then squeeze the sealed end to make an invisible cat-piss cloud for him to breathe in, causing him to gag and run to the toilet puking everywhere?

The Cat Piss Cannon was born.

We must've nailed about 20 regular customers with it too :) The day we actually sold the console, we boxed it up and slid the sleeve over it, bagging it all up to make sure the customer who purchased it didn't have a clue. There was an impromptu moment as the store staff sniffed a final farewell and the cannon left the store for lands anew. We like to think that the cannon was mounted onto a fence outside the house of the new owner, keeping Jehova's Witnesses at bay.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 10:59, Reply)