The terrorist
First, the backstory. I happened to be doing some volunteer work in a hospital in the occupied territories. Not glamorous stuff, just supporting the IT guy who had flown in earlier and needed an extra hand. The nature of the work meant that in the evenings my fellow Englishman and I could ooze around the hospital chatting to the various shrapnel filled Palestinians. And, cliched though it is, I've never met a friendlier bunch of people. They all, without fail, complimented me on my long eyelashes and big eyes, both features which I detest because they result in my being seen in the eyes of the world not as a macho leader of men, but more of a Bambi type. Grr. Anyway, Arabs love these eyes. "Camel eyes" they call them.

So, I settle into the hospital with my camel eyes fluttering hither and thither, and one young bullet sponge really takes a shine to them. Oh yes. Mohammed, I shall call him (name changed, naturally), loved these ridiculous eyes of mine, and the head that housed them, and the body that supported that head. Oh, and he particularly liked my arse.

Mohammed was a twenty-something lad, walking on crutches as a result of being hit in the leg with an IDF bullet when he was chucking stones one day. He was a patient at the hospital. Walking on crutches gave him a superhuman like strength in his arms, which were abominably hairy and made his resemblance to a gorilla in a fez rather striking. He made it his life's mission to grab my bottom (with a vice-like grip) as much as possible. It came to the extent that I'd have to poke my head round corners to see if he were at large before walking into a room. If he spotted me he'd give an unearthly shriek and hobble towards me like some kind of terrifying, rubbish cyborg.

I was stalked by a gay crippled terrorist.
(I grew it myself, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 5:02, 7 replies)

one man's gay crippled terrorist
is another man's queer differently-abled freedom fighter.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 6:57, closed)

though in all seriousness
I'm not sure that throwing stones a tank would qualify you as a terrorist in any sense of the word.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 6:58, closed)

Semantics
You're quite right apeloverage. He was in fact a lovely fellow, and not a child murdering scumbag like the terrorists du jour. I was just using the word to be pithy. And because he terrorised me.
(I grew it myself, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 7:57, closed)

Freaky
Once got told "you have the most piercing green eyes" by a skinhead in a kebab shop in Hull


oh and *click* by the way
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 10:41, closed)

You called him WHAT?!?!
*Burns effigy*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 20:45, closed)

you get a click...
for "terrifying, rubbish cyborg" alone!
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Sun 3 Feb 2008, 21:25, closed)

aawwww
he thought you were pretty........hehehe
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 4 Feb 2008, 2:35, closed)