A girl I used to work with, bless her, was rather... blond. Depressingly so, one might say, if one were too straight-laced to think of amusing ways to wind her up. Most of her ditzy moments have, thank God, failed to stay with me, but I do remember one memorable occasion.

We used to work together in Medical Records, filing patients' notes in their respective places. Space on the shelves was rather... tight (don't get sick, chaps, it's a right pain for staff) and, after fighting with a particularly obstreperous file, she complained that it "hadn't fitted in."

'Fitted', I thought? 'She didn't just say fitted, did she..?' But she had. And thus came to me the Idea.

"You know, Hannah, 'fitted' isn't right. The past tense of the verb 'to fit' is actually 'fat' - as in, the file 'doesn't fit' or 'hadn't fat'."

She swallowed this hook, line, and sinker. For the next few hours, she gaily proclaimed to all and sundry that files hadn't 'fat' in and we needed more space. Bearing in mind that most of the ladies who worked in the Records Dept were... on the LARGE side, the ill-feeling and general discontent that mounted every time she opened her mouth made me giggle with glee.

Of course, some twunt that I worked with who was idiotic enough to actually fancy the braindead halfwit informed her after a while that I'd wound her up. Fucker.

Length? Fat.
(jeherrin found it all in the Blackfield on, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 7:32, Reply)