Clingy Whales
Everyday I give a lift to one of my work colleagues, Steve. Steve is your typical Suffolk fella i.e. he has rarely ventured outside of the Suffolk boarders and most of what he knows he learnt from television. He's in his 50's and he talks ALOT.

A few weeks ago he got in to the car and immediately started talking about a program he had watched the night before about a Killer Whale. I didn't see it and wasn't really listening to start with, but this is what he said. Just imagine my responses to be mumbled noises.

"Did you see that program lastnight about the Killer Whale in Canada? It was really interesting. It was all about this Killer Whale that ended up in a sound and was really friendly. It was just there on it's own, not with a herd (sic). It would follow boats around and want to be touched. Some of the locals didn't want it there because they thought it was dangerous but other people liked having it there. Anyway this Whale would go up to boats and try to be near the people and it would come to see you if you were swimming. But eventually it died. They think it got hit by the propellar of a boat because it got too close, but I reckon someone did it deliberately."

"Now I was thinking about this Smurf and I have an idea about that Whale". This is where I started listening properly, because Steve's 'Ideas' are very much like Baldrick's 'Cunning Plans'.

"You know you get those autistic children that have to be hugged all the time? Well I reckon that Whale was autistic. And I reckon it was on it's own because it's parents couldn't look after him because of the autisticness (sic) and they guided him to the sound so he would be safe. What do you think?"

I just didn't know what to say.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 15:10, 5 replies)

autistic children hate being touched
Apart from that I can see nothing wrong with his theory.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 19:32, closed)

Not all of them
it can be common, but it is not definitive of the disorder.
(sanity challenged, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 19:56, closed)

Yeah, but..
This was an autistic whale...

They're different.
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Sun 21 Mar 2010, 23:35, closed)

Autistic Orca? Interesting theory; but how would that work?
"Definitely eat herring. On a Monday.
12:30 is lunch. Wednesday is fish."
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 0:31, closed)

I had to bloody watch that!
I spent the hour sat next to the missus complaining it was rubbish and hoping the killer whale would man the fuck up and kill someone.

Next day that woman trainer was killed by the Orca in sea world.

I have powers. Hopelessly misdirected powers...
( Dervel OTBC, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 16:04, closed)