A few....
I have a few:

In Year 7 (11-12) a girl in my class dropped a whole load of powder paint on the floor and then proceeded to clean it by getting a wet paper towel and rubbing it into the carpet. When the pink powder turned to paint, it seemed to spur her on even more and got more wet towels to spread the paint over an even wider area. The sadist that I am, I just watched keeping quiet and awaiting for the realisation that she had messed up. Cue, the teacher arriving, and much shouting.

In my job at an FSA-regulated company (a building society), my induction course taught me to "write my passwords down and leave them by the side of the computer as they are hard to remember. It doesn't matter". Suffice to say, the record was put straight.

Lastly is one from me when I was around 18. We were waiting for a female friend to join us in the pub and she was already half an hour late. We were going somewhere but nothing too time specific. I quite liked her, having met her briefly before and knew she wasnt dating anyone. Cat, the mutual friend rang her and she promised she would be there shortly. Fifteen minutes later, she saunters up to our table drink in hand with her excuses being that all her clothes made her arse look big.
"No", I replied, "all the sodding chocolate and crisps and alcohol you consume makes your arse big. Blaming some garment made in the third world, probably by child slave labour, who earn in one week less than the cost of that drink, for you having a fat arse is just ridiculous". Everyone glared at me, and I found out that telling a girl she "has a fat arse" is not a good precursor to asking someone out on a date.
(jdharding, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 19:36, Reply)