Further tales from the Capital of Shortbread
I was asked where the Baal-moral (Balmoral)Hotel was once. American

Listened to a couple on the train talk about "Lotch La Mond" (Loch lomond). American

Two people complain that "no one here speaks english" whilst in France - 1 Englishman & years later, 1 Scotsman (my Father in Law)- I explained "they have their own Bomb, they dont need to speak english."

I have been asked, whilst on the main till of Watersones Bookshop 13-14 Princes St, Edinburgh, for 2 tickets for the Kyle of Lochalsch Ferry - by an Italian lady wearing a full length fur coat in July in Edinburgh; you are more likely to get rained on than die of exposure. Anyway "Fur is Murder".

In a similar vein, watching tourist melt in the summer heat, wearing jeans, Timberland boots, and a Puffa Jacket marching round hilly Edinburgh, whilst the local denizens are in shorts and a "wife beater" (white sleeve-less T Shirts to show their pale tattooed arms)

Being at the very front of the orderly que for the Military Tattoo, in Edinburgh Castle, just after the 1st Gulf War (tons of armed soldiers on security) and watching this tourist forceably pushed me, the wife and a pretty female military policewoman, who fell, out of the way to be first to get in. Which he was, right up to the point 4 huge squadies bundled him to the ground and kicked the fuck out of him behind the ticket booth - probably German.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We won the war! Not you!
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 23:33, Reply)