Any and all of the Americans' attempts to get back at the Englishs' 'Stupid Americans' stories seem to simply fall back on name calling and blatent lies and usually prove everyones point for them.
So, I thought I'd lend a helping hand by pointing out, a short amount of reading through these makes it blatently evident that at least 60% of them are completely untrue regurgitated 'jokes' that prove nothing except that the tellers are really pathetic stupid English people who can't seem to NOT put an entry in even if they have no story to tell. Or read what they're contributing to before making an idiot of themselves by claiming a story happened to them when it's already been claimed 20 times before by 20 previous Stupid English People.

Honestly, guys, I think you're better off keeping quiet as I think it reflects worse on you to get angry about it! And also, frankly, some attempts at returning the compliment are fooling no one, I'm looking at YOU FleetlordVT !

Oh, and having lived and worked in York for ages, I've got a fecking million of them:

Tourists in my local ordering the Yorkshire or Black pudding and being surprised by receiving a main course savoury meal (even though it's completely understandable really, but strangely, always funny! Except for the poor staff having THAT argument for the 500th time.).

Japanese tourists and cameras, the stereotypes are all true, they're friggin deafening as curiously they seem to function like a flock of birds and all find the same thing photo-worthy simultaneously, and it can be anything, including OTHER TOURISTS!

Tourists: do not believe all the guides tell you! NO ONE knows why Whip-Ma-Whop-Ma-Gate (the shortest street in York) is called that! If you don't believe me, sit on the wall there in summer. Each guide tells a COMPLETELY different though equally incredulous story to their wide-eyed crowd, though they seem to vary on about 5 themes, I can't help but wonder if any of them from different tours compare notes later and say 'What the hell!?'.

Pseudo-posh wankers from out of town invade the place every year for the York Races and think because they can afford to hire a nice suit that they own the place and can be a pissed-up tosser and piss all over everyone elses evening. One of my regular watering holes would post a sign saying 'PRIVATE FUNCTION, invited guests only!' to stop them coming in. All the locals knew the crack so would come in anyway as 'guests' to this phantom function we were having. Worked every time!

Me and pissed mates sometimes sat outside in the bars near the river and when the (bloody annoying) tourist boats went by with their foghorns rabbiting on about the local historical objects of interest we would yell back contrary stories. "That's crap, these were all *16th* century features, NOT 18th!! Anyway, it's all bloody balsa wood and plaster and we're all actors, so NERRRR!!'" and such. Some got very pissed off, most laughed, we were ALWAYS amused, and the more drunk you got, the funnier you were!! I make no apologies, we had to live there, and I swear we got them to turn the bloody things down a few notches after a while!

Ill stop now....
( ..wil, Sat 9 Jul 2005, 20:31, Reply)