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This is a question Stupid Tourists

What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard a tourist say? Ever heard an American talking about visiting "Scotchland, England", or (and this one is actually real) a Japanese couple talking about the correct way to say Clapham is actually Clatham, as "ph" sounds are pronounced "th". Which has a certain logic really. UPDATE: Please, no more Loogabarooga stories. It's getting like, "and I opened my eyes and my mum had left me a cup of tea!"

(, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:31)
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Winky Wanky Woo
Youngish Mrrcan tourist stood next to me in small crowd drinking outside London pub. All typical characteristics present and correct. Regulation national dress of baseball cap, checked shirt over t-shirt, long shorts, trainers & white socks.

Overheard me using the word "wank" and blared in my ear (interrupting a private conversation, naturally) the fact that he hadn't heard that word before, was it an English word?

Why yes, my friend, I kindly explained. It certainly is. Basically, it means fun. You'll hear it quite a lot in London England, in various forms. I helpfully offered him the following examples -

Wanking - enjoying one's self
Wanker - a "fun" guy
Bunch of wankers - a group of the above
Having a wank - having a laugh

Feeling slightly self-satisfied, I'll confess, I went back to my pint and thought little more of it. However within no more than two minutes he headed over to a group of roaring drunk barechested English lagerboys and waded straight into whatever joke they were sharing. Realising what I'd done, I put down my drink, grabbed the missus and made a swift exit. All I heard behind me as we hurried down the street was -

"Hey, you sure sound like you're a bunch of wankers."
"What? What the fuck did you say?"
"Hey sorry buddy, aren't we all just having a wank here?"

The rest was drowned out by shouting and a plaintive yell...
(, Tue 12 Jul 2005, 10:59, closed)

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