Camping on an island to celebrate the end of third year...
There were a lot of us, mostly chavvy bastards who weren't invited and people who'd left school. The beer was stored in the bottm of the pond and there were a few bottles of Jack Daniels and 1 bottle of vodka, which I was in possession of.

A couple of hours in, before most people had even arrived, one guy, Rory (bit of a knob, claims he's a vampire,) got drunk on a very minimal amount of budweiser. He spontaniously started bleeding profusely from the nose and crying about his dead cat. Then he beat a few people up and ran to the edge of the island and started yelling into the sky "WHY ME!?!".

So then another wanker got very drunk and started running around and shooting people with his fingers. I made him a cape and told him he was batman. He then thought that he had to save someone drowning in the water. I tryed to persuade him that he wasn't really batman, but before I knew it he was knee deep in the river Tay. So I jumped in after him and dragged him out backwards and got someone to help me drag him back to the fire to dry off.

While we were at the fire Rory, who had been calmed down ran off into the forest. So me and a mate ran off after him. After searching for five minutes we found him curled up, asleep in a hollow tree stump. He was then taken home.

When I got back to the fire, Batman had gone. So again I found myself running wildly around the island shouting his name. I found him waist-deep in the pond the beers were stored in. I asked him what the fuck he was doing. "I'm looking for beer!" he shouted exhuberantly. Of course, all the alcohol except for my bottle of vodka had gone (and noone was getting any of that). After coaxing him out of the pool by saying that his dad was looking for him (he wasn't and it made no sense, but he was pissed) and got him back to the fire.

When I got to the fire, more drama had unfolded. The year's most mysoginistic guy, Callum, had accidentally/purposely elbowed a chav in the face and, as it is with "their sort", all the chavs were ganging together to beat him up. He'd already run away and a team of four of us went out looking for him.
We found him half a mile away sat in a circle with Big Steve and his mates from work, after they'd gone out to buy more alcohol. We tryed to force Callum back to camp but he was shit-scared off his fate... so for a laugh we hid him in a ditch. He was constantly going "Thankyou. I'll never forget this." and even gave us his phone so he didn't crush it. We read his texts from his ex-girlfriend and lauhed a lot at their hostility. Never knew he was the submissive type. Eventually, after he tryed to leg it a few times we forced him back into camp, carefully put him in his tent so the chavs wouldn't see and sent him to sleep.
Five minutes later he'd woken up and was giving hugs to all the chavs. Awwww...

But his humiliation did not stop their. Big Steve was chatting to some older guys wo'd left school about teachers. One of them asked "Is Mrs Rae still there?" and Callum piped up "Aye, Mrs Rae. She's got fucking big tits. I'd fuck her any day." Mrs Rae is probably the least desirable teacher in the school and he's never lived that statement down to this day.

So then we all got bored and went to sleep. We managed to get 3 people in my two man tent which had earlier been broken by another drunken jumping on top of it. All was fine until Big Steve, full of about 2 small bottles of Jack Daniels shouts "I'm coming in" and dives on top of us. The tent is fucked.
Luckily was managed to get in someone elses tent. There were 7 of us in a 4 man and barely anyone, except Callum, got any sleep.

In the morning I awoke to find someone had eaten my breakfast.

Sorry for length.
( Butters and his titanium codsocket, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 11:33, Reply)