Burford barman at 15
In those days i was a complete and utter twat, nearest I ever got to one anyway.
Highlights include:
bribing a sister of my friend, Paula (alky and fags)to pretend to be going out with me to go to a party, then watching in horror as she snogged EVERYONE ELSE at he party but me.

Getting so wrecked on Cinzano (vermouth and the other one, you know the one that looks the same going in as coming out) that I ended up on the roof (climbing the drainpipe) hanging by my legs from the gutter trying to see my friend lynn having a slash in the loo, yes I was that desperate. I think I threw a bottle at the coppers who turned up to check out the burglar/disturbance.

Being fortunate enough in having a friend (Hendy) whos parents owned one of the biggest houses in the area and went on holiday, allowing him to hold a "Disco", otherwise known as a teenage drink frenzy and shagathon in the garage, pool and house. It was "bring your own" drinks with limited stocks laid in as a backup. Remember we had pocket money in those days and had to blag like crazy to get older people to buy us alcohol. For some unknown reason I was asked to be barman (this is in my punk days)and pretty soon (about 3 hours into the orgy of teenage angst) the most popular drinks had run out, and EVERYONE kept asking me for plastic pint glasses of "fookin bitter, eh".
Queue me totally losing it (I was also on massive amounts of speed and any drink available)and shouting (about three inches from their chin ... i'm short) "WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY FOOKIN BITTER! WE'VE ONLY GOT LEMONADE! HERE, HAVE A PINT.. NO HAVE A BOTTLE! , No Have TWO, THERE'S PLENTY OF IT!!. After a while I just started throwin huge plastic bottles of Lemonade at anyone who walked anywhere near the bar, while pogoing and shouting "Fook Off You fookin bastid FOOKERS". Tearing apart packets of crisps and nuts and throwing them at anyone I felt like. I had issues.

Funnily enough everyone though it was so bloody hilarious they kept asking me to do it at EVERY party anyone held in the area.
(cargo, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 19:54, Reply)