Teenage PartiesAh, the heady days when catering consisted of a crate of lager and some vodka illicitly extracted by whoever looked oldest, decoration consisted of removing any breakable furniture and the morning after was just the morning and not the rest of the week.
Tell us who you snogged, where you threw up and who just would not leave.
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chthonic, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 10:20)
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The Fetal Pig Head OdessyAh..Teenage parties you say? In the days 18, I happened to partake in a tale of debauchery, vengeance, and the pickled head of an unborn sow.
It all started at a party in my good friend Harvey's house. His mom was away for the weekend, and knowing Harvey, a party was damned-well inevitable. Pretty soon most everyone was off their collective asses. I, being the least drunk, was taking care of my best mate Dylan, who by that time had passed out in Harvey's bed. After watching him retch, and occasionally flipping him on his stomach for an hour or so, I wandered off. In the time I was gone, a dubiously drunken Harvey had snuck into his room with a Polaroid camera. When Dylan wakes up in the morning, what does he find upon his chest? A photo of Harvey a shit-eating grin on his face, poised above Dylan's head, with his scrotum firmly planted against Dylan's cheek. Needless to say Dylan was fucking furious, and began to plot his revenge.
Now, it just so happened that for his birthday, me and my friend Tyler had gotten Dylan the decapitated head of a preserved fetal pig, snatched from a biology lab. For effect we'd stuck it in a jar of vinegar, and left it on his doorstep. It had sat on Dylan's computer shelf for about a month before the scrotum incident, and he naturally realized the potential for vengeance.
Two months later, and once again a party at Harvey's house. Dylan and I wait a good long time into the night, growing more and more incapacitated. By the time it was late enough, we lurch out to Dylan's car and retrieve and decant the pickled head. Harvey has left his car unlocked, and we stumble into the front seat armed with both screw-driver and a pig-head. For about 10 minutes we try to hollow out the base of the head with the screw-driver, so as to place the skull on his stick-shift. Suddenly, I realize the top of the shifter can be unscrewed, and the mischief is quickly made.
Zoom to the next day, and what does Harvey find? A car covered in stale vinegar, reeking of formaldehyde, with crumbs of pig-brain scattered about the dash and floor.
Oh yes, and the desiccated, vile skull of a pig fetus entrenched about 5 inches upon the shifter.
(, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 1:59, Reply)
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