I had more fun whilst not pissed.
I was at a houseparty once, and for one reason or another I refused to touch a drop of alcohol (i think i was testing myself or someshit like that). it was everyone elses 'first time' at being properly shlarmy, and the host decided to walk up to me and punch me in the balls HARD.

"You C***" i cried, but unfortunately he was much bigger than me. He then preceded to snog my pissed then-girlfriend in front of me, so i decided to plot my revenge in a better fashion:

I collected everyones puke/alcohol-full-pint glasses and bottles at about 4am (when everyone had slipped into an unconcious sleep) and began to hide them in mysterious places (such as in a drawer under his parents bed), in his dad's sock underwear drawer, in the back of the airing cupboard and about 20 other good hiding places. I also left a glass balanced on the door (unfortunately this old gag didn't work because the glass fell behind the door when he opened it). As you can imagine i was REALLY pissed off with him by this point and had driven myself really angry so i took out his bottle of milk from the fridge and attempted to jizz in it, unfortunately, i lost my bottle halfway through, put the milk back and ran the fuck out of his house.

as you can imagine, slowly his parents kept on slowly finding more and more shit once they had returned because the twat of a host didn't look very thoroughly whilst clearing up.

I think he was grounded for a very long time.

Twat.
(Brian-Molko, Sun 16 Apr 2006, 19:46, Reply)