Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Cruelty to animalsI was sharing a flat with a woman who had a cat. Each morning at around 5.00, the bloody animal would scratch at my door and wake me up. I tried leaving the door open, but then it would just come inside and jump on my face.
I like my sleep, and one morning the scratching drove me to an apolectic frenzy. I stormed out of bed, put on my slippers, opened the door and swung my leg in a strike-from-the-halfway-line at the purring creature sitting there. The cat ricocheted off my slipper and soared down the flight of stairs opposite the door. I can still see its eyes staring in mute horror and its furry legs akimbo as it sailed some five metres downwards like a tabby Icarus.
It wasn't hurt, but it never scratched at my door again. Job done.
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 16:01, Reply)
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