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This is a question Well, that taught 'em

Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.

One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.

ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."

What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?

(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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taught him a lesson?!? pah!
when i was a broke-assed student in london i shared digs with some downright nasty people. Earls court might be a nice place to stay and all that, but shit you meet a few strange southern hemispheric weirdos. some of them smell weird. no offense.
so, this one time, around half way through my second year, the room near the bathroom (revolving door for backpackers) was taken up by a real nasty, racist scruff. he was travelling with this real wet dream (for a backpacker) of a blondie and had decided to stay a month in london before f#@king of to who cares where.
the problems began when when my bread, ham and another of my flatmate's mayonnaise started disappearing AND i found a very hideous, curly brown hair in my razor (the bastard previously looked like he had not shaved in a year). the flatmate and i talked about it and he decided to spunk up the mayo. we both did. i also decided to have a word with his companion about him not touching my toiletries again.
at first the pretty buzzard refused to believe that he could have used my razor and stuff, but gradually the evidence (one nasty hair) was convincing her. i think she had a word with him that evening while i was out because the other bloke said that he had caused a pretty racket after coming back from wherever he went. this made me feel bad for the bird so i decided to apologise to her. i did not manage to catch her on her own for over a week, but as we bumped into each other in the kitchen i apologised for making things awkward for her. she seemed pretty shy and was non-commital for a moment or two until she kissed me. without more details, i bought another razor, toothbrush and hid 'em, and had a cracking two weeks with a screaming bird while some South African cunt traipsed around London with his weird mates. bliss.
i have not eaten Mayo since.
apologies for everything wrong with this post.
(, Sat 28 Apr 2007, 10:34, Reply)

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